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I feel sort of depressed and I've got worries for almost one week I think.
don't know why.........and actaully, there is one thing that I recognize is that life is making me lonely. And there is a strange thing that if I feel lonely , normally speaking, I'll wanna have a company being with me, but finally I find myself that I don't want to be bothered when someone come to talk to me ,care me or ask me out or go for a walk ...,ect , what a sick and complicated thoughts, I'm really confused, when I am alone and depressed hardly, there is nobody could get me out of this shit situation but my own self, but what and how can I do something which can help and rescue myself with this kinda sick mood, pathic mind and weak spirit at this moments ?
that's right,I wanna cry, just cry for myself loudly, I also wanna scream, just want to scram to death with my deeply depreesed heart, I really dont know what just happened to me.......something caused me unnormal and doleful.. even though, I wanna accomplish something as possible as i can(maybe the paper, the daily work ), but I just let the bad feeling surrounds me then do nothing just sleep. everything's still waiting for me, I know I have to get up, get up, get up....somebody, if you can ,warm me, just warm me plz or just leave me alone as far as you can..just go away, i beg you.
I just came back from the bath, in bathroom I tried to cry when i opened the shower nozzle to let the water down and made noise,this method was my dad told me when i was a child, then there was no tears drop down from my face except the hot water, i think maybe i've forgotten how to cry so that i can't release the bad thing from my deep inside heart..
that above words isn't a cry for sympathy or help, just my mood compelled me to pen the words. I think I'll feel better when I write something
don't know why.........and actaully, there is one thing that I recognize is that life is making me lonely. And there is a strange thing that if I feel lonely , normally speaking, I'll wanna have a company being with me, but finally I find myself that I don't want to be bothered when someone come to talk to me ,care me or ask me out or go for a walk ...,ect , what a sick and complicated thoughts, I'm really confused, when I am alone and depressed hardly, there is nobody could get me out of this shit situation but my own self, but what and how can I do something which can help and rescue myself with this kinda sick mood, pathic mind and weak spirit at this moments ?
that's right,I wanna cry, just cry for myself loudly, I also wanna scream, just want to scram to death with my deeply depreesed heart, I really dont know what just happened to me.......something caused me unnormal and doleful.. even though, I wanna accomplish something as possible as i can(maybe the paper, the daily work ), but I just let the bad feeling surrounds me then do nothing just sleep. everything's still waiting for me, I know I have to get up, get up, get up....somebody, if you can ,warm me, just warm me plz or just leave me alone as far as you can..just go away, i beg you.
I just came back from the bath, in bathroom I tried to cry when i opened the shower nozzle to let the water down and made noise,this method was my dad told me when i was a child, then there was no tears drop down from my face except the hot water, i think maybe i've forgotten how to cry so that i can't release the bad thing from my deep inside heart..
that above words isn't a cry for sympathy or help, just my mood compelled me to pen the words. I think I'll feel better when I write something
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